Important things I learned during my hospital stay

I learned a few important lessons in the hospital:
1- Hospital beds kick butt. You can adjust them to that perfect position very easily. I want one for my living room. It would be perfect for movies. (Now you know what to get me for my birthday in December :D )
2- A room with a thermostat that goes down to 55 (probably really 60) is AWESOME! It was over 105 outside a couple days I was in the hospital but I had no idea because I was chillin'. The pain meds make me feel hot so it was kind of a necessity.
3- They hire young, cute, perky women to be cardiac rehab therapists so you are less likely to kill them for being sadists. The two I met were professionals but I could see how someone might want to do them in.
4- ST. David's Hospital has really good hospital food. You actually get to order from a menu.
5- Insulin shots are not that bad (very thin needle although I do have bruising afterwards) but monitoring blood sugar stinks big time. They keep your sugar levels below 130 after cardiac surgery to speed healing. "Normal" is usually considered 70-150. No one hipped me to that before I ordered the orange gelatin and put sugar in my tea. I spent the entire time getting tiny insulin shots for blood sugars in the 130-135 range. Almost not worth poking the skin. Lancets suck! I feel for anyone who has to do it on a frequent basis.
6- A room with a thermostat set to 55 is not that great when you have to get out of bed to use the bathroom at night. No fun at all especially in a backless hospital gown. Equally unfun when you get out of the shower and shivering causes your chest to feel like it is on fire.
7- It is difficult to find patients under 50 in the cardiac wing at ST. David's Hospital.
8- If your channel line-up is lame enough, it IS possible to go 4 straight days without being able to watch a single episode of MASH or any good cartoons (5 movie channels and not a thing worth watching).
9- The iPod Touch is a great movie machine and decent internet browser (ST. David's has free wireless internet).
10- The nursing staff at ST. David's is awesome. I hope I never have to see any of them again but I am eternally grateful. They were solid gold. St. David's should be proud of their staff.
11- Even with extremely competent staff around all the time, you'd still rather have your wife and kid in the room when you're in the hospital.
12- One needs to delete the brutal death metal off their iPod if they are going to shuffle songs while in the hospital. I just about made myself soil the bed. I was dozing listening to the ipod and it went from Mediaeval Baebes (mellow vocal-based Madrigal stuff) to something off a compilation album from a band called Amputated Genitals. Not a smooth segue at all.
13- After chest surgery, your "heart pillow" is your best friend. It is the most important thing to have with you at all times. Even more important than pants! I'll probably devote an entry to my new best friend very soon.
14- A hiccup can be the most terrifying experience of your life after heart surgery. It feels like the alien burrowing through Kane's (John Hurt) chest. Hiccups are worse than a cough because, you know a cough is going to subside sooner or later. In my life, I've had hiccups that have lasted days. Luckily, I've only had them for a few minutes since surgery.
15- If you are on a pain-med regime stay on the dosing schedule.
Do not think, "The pain is not that bad, I don't need to take my dose now." Take that dose. Keep in mind that oral pain meds take 45 mins to 1.5 hrs to give you relief. If you are already feeling it, you may be in for a long unpleasant wait before you get relief. I slept through a dose Tuesday night (6-30) and woke up at 3:45 am in a ton of pain. In the ICU, they can hit you with something in your IV like morphine and, boom, 5-15 minutes and you experience relief. Oral meds are not as quick but they are longer lasting. On a side note, I fail to see how anyone could seek out pain medication. I do not find the side-effects pleasant at all.

I'll update my "What I Learned" list as I go. Seeing how this one was just under a mile long, I am sure few people made it this far. If you did, congratulations! You officially need to find something better to do with your time. :D